Good Friday Musings During Confinement

      One of the worst things about being confined to my home has been missing being with my church family. This Easter, the warm hugs and handshakes on that blessed Sunday were verboten, so our greeting and reply of “He is Risen! He is Risen, indeed!” were said to faces on a computer screen. Although I’m grateful for the technology that lets us continue to worship with each other, maybe that’s why I was a little more contemplative this year in the days leading up to Easter.

      At my church, our Good Friday service consists of hymns and Scripture reading arranged around a theme of “In the Shadows.” One of the last sections is The Shadow of Crucifixion: The Seven Last Words compiled of readings from the four Gospels. One of the readings from Luke’s account gives us the criminal’s repentance:

The soldiers also mocked Him, coming and offering Him sour wine, and saying, “If You are the King of the Jews, save Yourself.”

And an inscription also was ^[i]written over Him in letters of Greek, Latin, and Hebrew:

THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS.

Then one of the criminals who were hanged blasphemed Him, saying, “If You are the Christ, save Yourself and us.”

But the other, answering, rebuked him, saying, “Do you not even fear God, seeing you are under the same condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we receive the due reward of our deeds; but this Man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said to Jesus, “Lord, remember me when You come into Your kingdom.”

And Jesus said to him, “Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.”

                (Luke 23:36-43 NKJV)

      I’ve been thinking about the penitent criminal’s words at lot this week and, having more free time because of circumstances, I decided to do a little Bible study and see what other, more learned, minds have said about this passage.

      While I believe all Scripture is inspired, I also believe the Holy Spirit chose particular men with specific personalities and perspectives to record the events so their accounts vary. Luke, a Gentile, champions the outsider or underdog in his gospel. He may very well have been a freed slave, considering being a physician didn’t carry the social standing it does today. Luke has an eye for things outside a strictly Jewish context and it is only Luke who records the penitent criminal’s words. Matthew and Mark attribute the slurs to both criminals. John Calvin offers a simple explanation for this. He says this attribution, “ought not to be accounted harsh; for the two Evangelists had no other design than to show that even the robbers who were fast dying, did not spare Him. . ..” Even with omission of the penitent’s words,  “. . . there is no inconsistency in the statement; that Christ was despised by all, down to the very robbers; for they did not speak of particular individuals, but of the class itself.” Perhaps Luke was inspired to include this because he was more sensitive to the repentance of an outlier.  

      Another item I wanted to study was the connection of Jesus’ crucifixion with Joseph, an Old Testament type (or preview) of Christ, and his imprisonment. Joseph was imprisoned with two others, the king’s baker and cupbearer, each having troubling dreams, which he interprets. The interpretation of the dreams is the baker is doomed, but the cupbearer will be restored to his position:

And Joseph said to him, “This is the interpretation of it: The three branches are three days. Now within three days Pharaoh will lift up your head and restore you to your place, and you will put Pharaoh’s cup in his hand according to the former manner, when you were his butler. But remember me when it is well with you, and please show kindness to me; make mention of me to Pharaoh, and get me out of this house. For indeed I was stolen away from the land of the Hebrews; and also I have done nothing here that they should put me into the dungeon.”

            Unfortunately, the Bible tells us, “Yet the chief butler did not remember Joseph, but forgot him.”

     The interesting thing here is the way this passage mirrors our passage in Luke. In Genesis, Joseph, who is in prison with the cupbearer, prophesies the cupbearer’s release (salvation) and the baker’s doom. The Joseph proclaims his innocence and asks to be remembered. The other prisoner faces death. Compared to the crucifixion passage, two criminals don’t ask for help, but rather one hurls insults and the other rebukes him. He proclaims Jesus’ innocence and acknowledges Who He is when asking to be remembered, “when You come into Your kingdom.”

As he’s dying, the criminal makes a remarkable profession of faith! A passage in Amos came to mind, “And you were like a firebrand plucked from the burning.” (4:11) Unlike the cupbearer and Joseph, Jesus will not forget him, “Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.”

      The more I looked into it, the more I realized there’s a lot in the brief exchange between the two criminals and Jesus. Though it will gain him nothing, one hurls attacks at Jesus. In his commentary, Calvin writes, “Thus desperate men are wont to take obstinate revenge for the torments they can’t avoid. . .They ought, indeed, to be tamed to humility by strokes; but this shows that the wicked heart, which no punishments can bend, is hard like iron.”

     

      His penitent companion rebukes the insults with “Do you not even fear God, seeing you are under the same condemnation?”. Calvin continues, “…even when reduced to the lowest straits, he doesn’t even begin to fear God.”

      The whole scene where two criminals flank Jesus at His crucifixion is a little ironic considering some of the disciples had argued over who would have prominence in His kingdom with the mother of James and John going so far as to ask Jesus, “Grant that these two sons of mine may sit, one on Your right hand and the other on the left, in Your kingdom.” Jesus had warned, “You do not know what you ask.” Then said, “…but to sit on My right hand and on My left is not Mine to give, but it is for those for whom it is prepared by My Father.”

      N. T. Wright writes of the disciples in Jesus and the Victory of God, “They thought, as one might well imagine, they were going to Jerusalem to sit on actual physical thrones, and they disputed as to who would get the most important ones…[they] still cherished ambitions for the nation of Israel, and for themselves within Israel, which showed that they had not grasped the radical nature of Jesus’ agenda.”

      “but it is for those for whom it is prepared by My Father” – The two criminals were providentially designated to be there and at least one was eternally elected unto salvation. The penitent criminal who would never have asked to be there at Jesus’ right or left hand will nevertheless have a place in the kingdom because of what happened at the cross. He calls on the Man hanging on a cross beside him with faith in the Man’s ability to provide salvation. As Matthew Henry puts it, a “dying sinner to a dying Savior.”

      Calvin writes, “For who would ever have thought that a robber, in the very article of death, would become not only a devout worshipper of God, but a distinguished teacher of faith and piety to the whole world. . .I know not that, since the creation of the world there ever was a more remarkable and striking example of faith…”

      I’ll never read that passage the same way again. For the probably the first time, I’m grateful to be confined with time on my hands.

The SBC & Paige Patterson & the Danger of Conflation

The upcoming Southern Baptist Convention is lighting up Twitter and the rest of cyberspace for all the wrong reasons lately. Conservative stalwart Paige Patterson is scheduled to give a key address at the convention and in light of controversial comments regarding spouse abuse, many are calling for him to resign.

I grew up a Baptist and remained in that denomination until I met my husband, a soon-to-be Presbyterian pastor, and followed him to the denomination of the late D. James Kennedy and R.C. Sproul, Presbyterian Church in America (PCA). I still have a great many friends in the SBC, as well as a great deal of love and appreciation for my former denomination. As a conservative, I also have always held Rev. Patterson in high esteem for his courageous battle against liberalism in the 70-80s, so it was distressing to read transcripts of some of Patterson’s poor comments on spousal abuse. I honestly think this may be a blindspot, a generational chauvinism, but most importantly, I think his comments on marriage stems from a poor exegesis of Romans 7. 

Most Christians will agree divorce is a concession God made because sin entered the world and biblically, there is no such thing as a no-fault divorce. Having said that, I think the biblical grounds for divorce are actually much broader than what is normally presented today by some of my fellow conservatives. Contrary to popular opinion, Jesus did not say that 'adultery' was the only biblical grounds for divorce in Matthew 5:31, 32.

In Matthew 5:31, Jesus quotes the Pharisaical perversion of the law.  Furthermore it has been said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.'  Rather than divorcing on biblical grounds, the Pharisees taught that men could divorce their wives for all sorts of reasons. Jesus, on the other hand, reiterated the teaching of the Old Testament.  In verse 32, He says, But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. The key phrase there is translated in my Bible as 'sexual immorality.'  (Your Bible may have something like 'fornication,' 'marital unfaithfulness,' or some sort of equivalent.)

The word Jesus uses is not the word for 'adultery.'  It is porneia, from which we get 'pornography.'  It is not the word used for adultery, which is moichao.  If Jesus wanted to say that the only ground for divorce is adultery, He could have easily done so; He uses the word for that in the very next verse. However by using the word porneia, which literally means 'indecent thing,' He was making the grounds for divorce much broader than is usually admitted by most in the conservative Christian community. While its focus is more often than not on illicit sexual practices, porneia is also used to denote abhorrent behavior of a more general type including things such as provoking the Lord to anger by distrust and murmuring, to an arrogant way of life, to such things as rebellion, witchcraft, and idolatry. In summary, the word essentially is used to classify the crimes that received the death penalty under the old covenant. 

What this means, therefore, is anything classified as a capital offense in the Bible, may be biblical grounds for divorce. (Notice, 'may be,' because the capital offenses don't necessarily require divorce, they simply allow for it.) Biblically, generally the only offense that required capital punishment, in all cases, was the act of murder. In all other instances in which there was a victim, the victim decided the punishment within the biblical perimeters - Again, the capital offenses in the Bible are the allowed divorceable offenses.

This is where Romans 7 comes into play and settles the dispute. Paul says in verse 1 that he's speaking to people who know the law. The law being referenced is the Mosiac law. From the law, he derives an analogy between the believer in relationship to the law, based on the permissibility of remarriage in the case of the death of a spouse. He says in verses 2 and 3, 

For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man. 

The important thing for us to note, is the type of death Paul is referring to here is not physical death, but rather he refers in his analogy to covenantal death. Death is not primarily physical; it is primarily covenantal. When God told Adam and Eve that the day they eat of the forbidden fruit they would die, He was not mistaken: They did in fact die. They died covenantally to God by being excluded from His presence. Physical death came later as a result. The important thing for us to note, is that marriage is a covenant - a covenant that can be dissolved, not only through physical death, but through covenantal death as well, thereby allowing the surviving spouse to remarry. 

Now, let's apply this principle to the doctrine of marriage, divorce, and remarriage.  In 1 Corinthians 5, there is the famous case of incest within the Corinthian church. Paul says in verse 1,

 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even named among the Gentiles - that a man has his father's wife!  

Note the phrase 'sexual immorality.'  The word there once again is the same as used by our Lord Jesus; the word again is porneia, from which we get the word 'fornication.'  Here it is applied in the case of incest. 

Now notice what Paul says to do to the offender. He says in verses 4 and 5, 

In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, along with my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. 

In other words, excommunicate him.

What's especially significant is the phrase Paul uses at the end of verse 13 to describe the excommunication. It is very important. Paul says at the end of 13, Therefore, 'put away from yourselves the evil person.'  If you have a reference Bible, you'll notice immediately that the phrase Paul uses is a quotation from the book of Deuteronomy. 

Those who advocate an 'adultery only' position as being the only acceptable grounds for divorce, fail to recognize that the laws of divorce and remarriage in the Old Testament were given alongside of a whole host of other laws stipulating the death penalty. What this means then, is that in ancient Israel there were a whole lot of laws that would have rendered the marriage bond broken as the result of the death of a spouse for committing a capital crime. Therefore, according to the apostle Paul in Romans 7, in the event of the death of a marriage partner, the spouse was free to remarry. 

Look at Deuteronomy 17.  This phrase is used there on numerous occasions and notice what it's used in reference to beginning with verse 6. 

Whoever is deserving of death shall be put to death on the testimony of two or three witnesses; he shall not be put to death on the testimony of one witness. The hands of the witnesses shall be the first against him to put him to death, and afterward the hands of all the people. So you shall put away the evil from among you.  

Next look at verse 12. 

Now the man who acts presumptuously and will not heed the priest who stands to minister there before the LORD your God, or the judge, that man shall die. So you shall put away the evil from Israel. 

Do you see how in both instances the phrase is used in regard to capital punishment? What this means then, is that the apostle Paul, in making the analogy, was equating the church's excommunication to be the judicial equivalent to execution by the state. The abused spouse has protection from the church. If her abuser will not repent of his sin, the church may excommunicate him, thus rendering him covenentally dead and freeing her to divorce and remarry.

The above is an all-too-brief summation of this position. For a more thorough exegesis on biblical grounds for divorce, I highly recommend Ray Sutton’s Second Chance: Biblical Principles of Divorce and Remarriage.

Paige Patterson has issued an apology for the pain his comments may have caused:

To all people I offer my apology, but especially to women, to the family of Southern Baptists, my friends and the churches. I sincerely pray that somehow this apology will show my heart and may strengthen you in the love and graciousness of Christ.

There is a secondary issue in this controversy. Some of the more vocal critics of Patterson are conflating Patterson’s comments with his position on complementarianism, which John Piper summed up as:

The intention with the word “complementarian” is to locate our way of life between two kinds error: on the one side would be the abuses of women under male domination, and on the other side would be the negation of gender differences where they have beautiful significance. This means that, on the one hand, complementarians acknowledge and lament the history of abuses of women personally and systemically, and the present evils globally and locally in the exploitation and diminishing of women and girls. And, on the other hand, complementarians lament the feminist and egalitarian impulses that minimize God-given differences between men and women and dismantle the order God has designed for the flourishing of our life together.

So complementarians resist the impulses of a chauvinistic, dominating, and abusive culture, on the one side, and the impulses of a sex-blind, gender-leveling, unisex culture, on the other side. And we take our stand between these two ways of life not because the middle ground is a safe place (which it is emphatically not), but because we think this is the good plan of God in the Bible for men and women. “Very good,” as he said in Genesis 1.

I wholeheartedly agree that Patterson’s comments were tone-deaf and I believe exegetically wrong. However, that doesn’t mean that everything Patterson teaches is wrong. Patterson also believes in the inerrancy of Scripture, the Immaculate Conception, and (more to the point of this issue) complementarianism. Several critics are attributing his poor comments to his support of complementarianism. To make that leap is to indulge in a logical fallacy sometimes referred to as “Affirming the Consequent”.  Here’s how it works:

Fallacy Ex:            Premise: Ducks are birds.   Premise: Ducks swim in the water. Premise: Chickens are birds. False Conclusion: Chickens swim in the water.  (Affirming The Consequent Fallacy:  not all birds swim in water; swimming is neither a necessary or sufficient condition to be the thing "bird")

Another way to put it: A occurred, then B occurred, therefore A caused B.

Or in the matter at hand:

Paige Patterson is a complementarian.
Paige Patterson made insensitive remarks about women.
Pastor So&So is a complementarian.
Pastor So&So is insensitive to women.

Complementarianism cannot be shown to be the cause of insensitive remarks, especially as other complementarian pastors have denounced Patterson’s statements.

This conflation of the two issues is seen in NPR’s reporting on the matter. And in a myriad of posts in the Twitterverse. Here are just a few samples:

“Matthew 7:16.The fruit of complementarianism has been a generation of oppressed & abused women in the church. Piper, Patterson, Grudem, have all said horrible things to or about women. The rest aren’t public figures. Women deserve equal say, rights, & opportunities in the world.” “If you are defending Paige Patterson or applauding his "apology," you are part of the problem known as #HowToEvangelical. His horrific attitudes towards women go back decades & he hasn't changed. We will #EmptyThePews of sexist complementarianism.”
 “For some of us the bad ending had a bad beginning. But the problem is not limited to Patterson. It's the misogynist culture fostered by complementarianism. Women have separate but equal status? Where have we heard that before? #TimesUpSBC”

This conflation of Patterson’s remarks with the battle between the Complementarian and Egalitarian camps is fallacious and, I fear, purposely so as to advance a particular agenda. 

Never Give In: The Extraordinary Character of Winston Churchill ( Book Review)

    1940 set the cinematic stage for 2017 with "Dunkirk" and "Darkest Hour" together garnering five Oscars. Both of these films were outstanding in their ability to transport the viewer to this climatic moment in World War II. Gary Oldham's portrayal of Winston Churchill was masterful! In fact, Mr. Oldham's portrayal, which humanized this larger-than-life personality, created in me a desire to learn more about Winston Churchill. My hubby and I watched two outstanding BBC productions, "The Gathering Storm" and "Into the Storm"about the rise of Winston Churchill and his post-WW2 electoral defeat.

Now it was time to hit the books. It is quite appropriate that Churchill, the prodigious writer, would himself have a myriad of books written on his life, work, and witticisms. Unfortunately in many secular biographies, Churchill's brief agnosticism/atheism is portrayed as being the theme of his life when, in fact, Churchill's deep and abiding belief and desire for Christendom is what shape and molded the man who had such a profound impact on the 20th century and beyond.

Born into an affluent but cold family, Winston found an anchor in a faithful Christian nanny, Mrs. Everest, who brought affection and faith to the small, neglected boy.  This childhood faith would be tested and for awhile rejected during his Army days when he pursued self-education and read religious rationalism; however, his Army experience would also renew his faith as he saw Divine Providence in his escape from prison during the Boer War.

In Stephen Mansfield's "Never Give In: The Extraordinary Character of Winston Churchill" the reader is shown how the rejection, slights, challenges, and hurts Churchill faced during his formative years and beyond were crucial to creating who many have dubbed, the Greatest Man of the 20th Century.  Mansfield surveys Churchill's life in regard to that of his leadership. Included at the end of the book is a list of "Lessons of Leadership" from this remarkable man. Below are a few of these lessons, I highly recommend reading this book for the remainder.

• Leadership is the power to shape the future.
• Bitterness erodeds strong leadership; it anchors a leader to the past, distracting him from the promise of the future.
• Biology need not be destiny.
• A leader is often his own best teacher.
• Overwhelming moral and physical courage is at the foundation of all great leadership.
• To offer a people hope is to acquire a position of leadship in their lives.
• Religious faith elevates leaders by freeing them from the cult of the contemporary.
• The quality of a leader is often reflected in the quality of his marriage.
• Leadership is not a popularity contest; criticism is part of the job.

After Billy Graham

When news of Billy Graham's death spread, my Facebook feed became filled with friends asking the same question: "Who will be the next Billy Graham?" I've been thinking about this question too, but I keep having this nagging thought that perhaps we're all asking the wrong question.

I dearly loved Rev. Graham, partly because my Mom made a profession of faith under his preaching. I read his books, and admired and respected so very much about the man. In its coverage of his death, USA Today included this pretty dead-on descriptive quote:

"He was so real, he made Christianity come true," said Susan Harding, an anthropologist at the University of California-Santa Cruz. "He was homespun, historical and newsworthy all at once. He could span the times from Christ to today, from the globe to you, all in one sentence."

Billy Graham was a product of his time. He came to Christ in a tent revival and it was a natural progression for his ministry to find its expression in revivalist form. He could speak of God and Jesus and people understood to Whom he was referring. This is what gives me pause about the "next" Billy Graham. In 2018, does our world need a celebrity preacher? I wonder about this. We have plenty of "celebrity preachers" out there, I know, but none have achieved Graham's preeminence. I wonder if any really can.  Today, can we still speak of Jesus and be universally understood as to Whom we are referring or do we need to define our terms? Is it the Jesus who preached love and acceptance without judgment as presented by many popular authors and preachers today? Or, it is the Jesus of Scripture who declares exclusivity ("I am the Way") and requires followers submit to Biblical parameters in their lives?

In this post-Christian age, I honestly wonder if a revivalist is what is needed today. We no longer have a shared national experience that synthesizes us. It is really possible for one person to represent Christianity? Maybe in 2018 evangelism is better done in the trenches - person to person, neighbor to neighbor, coworker to coworker, and student to student. It may be that the way forward is not found in the successes of the past. Perhaps this is a moment when we need to reevaluate and be like the children of Issachar "who had an understanding of their times and knew what Israel ought to do" 
(1 Chronicles 12:32).

"The Way" to a Great Movie

My husband and I unwind at the end of each day with a glass of wine and half a movie, finishing it the next evening.  Our cinematic preferences encompass a wide range of genres from the latest blockbuster to the small-budget independent films. It is often the small-budget films that stay with us the longest. These movies are story driven with characters and dialogue that require thoughtful consideration.  The Way, written by Emilio Estevez and starring his father Martin Sheen, is precisely that kind of movie.

The premise, as described by IMDB, is simple and poignant: “A father heads overseas to recover the body of his estranged son who died while traveling the “El camino de Santiago,” and decides to take the pilgrimage himself.” The father [Tom] travels with his son Daniel’s ashes. It is a deeply moving movie interspersed with thoughtful dialogue and generously sprinkled comedic moments.  

Along the way, the lapsed Catholic Tom unwillingly acquires traveling companions Dutchman Joost, Canadian Sarah, and Irishman Jack. This unlikely foursome travel the El camino de Santiago, hurting and helping to heal one another along the way. Martin Sheen said of the movie, "Pilgrimage is structured so it takes you out of your comfort zone. You pack all the things you need and soon you realize it's too heavy and have to start unpacking. Then the transcendence starts on stuff you've packed in your interior life, and you begin opening those closets and cells and dungeons and letting all the people out you've been punishing all your life."

I’m a Protestant and was unfamiliar with this pilgrimage. I’m a conservative and thought I’d have little use for a movie written by the more liberal Estevez or his father. However, the movie presented to me an ecumenical window into the larger Christian community. Activist Sheen and I are diametrically opposed on most political issues, but we share an opposition to abortion and reverence for life. Politics aside, because of this movie I now see these men as fellow believers.

We return to The Way time and time again because the story is moving, the relationships real, and the community welcoming. It speaks of healing, forgiveness, acceptance, and love.  

Some Thoughts on #MeToo

“Curious about your take on the #MeToo movement.”   

A friend sent me this question and below is my answer:

Conflicted. Forgive the long answer forthcoming:

By personal experience, I can use the #MeToo hashtag (as can most of my friends, young and old). For my generation, it was usually seen as the cost of operating in a man's world. I admire the courage of those putting careers at risk. I DO NOT admire actresses who glom on now after the fact, who stood by and allowed other women to be victimized.

The blame is not easily assigned. My home Baptist church was benignly misogynistic, interpreting "wives submit to husbands" as women submit to men in a dismissive and disrespectful manner. This is why I, as a conservative lady, fell into feminism in college - because of the disrespect I received in my "conservative" circle.

Good Christian men are often truly unaware of the abuse women receive in society because it is foreign to their character.

Feminism itself is culpable because it has debased the concept of womanhood. If a woman is as immoral and common as any man, why should they be held in esteem?

Finally, I don't consider a man whistling or cat-calling a woman abuse. Is it irritating? Sure (but if women are honest also weirdly flattering). Can it be abuse in some cases? Absolutely, if the woman feels threatened in the circumstance. I fear some women are categorizing insignificant instances as abuse and thus my conflict and why - at this point- I haven't added my #MeToo to the conversation.

One last thing, it obviously boils down to a lack of Christian teaching. Christ was the great emancipator of women. However, when every element of masculinity is attacked, even the good and noble elements, there will of course be a backlash.

Movie Review: The Intern - Everything Old Is New Again

My hubby and I finally got around to watching a movie released in 2015, The Intern, starring Robert DeNiro as Ben, a 70-year-old widower finding retirement unsatisfying and Anne Hathaway as Jules, the hard-charging founder of an online clothing site. Through a senior internship program, Ben is assigned to Jules, who is not at all interested in this social experiment.

What I enjoyed most about this movie is the depiction of class, dignity, and old-school work ethic aiding the Fish-out-of water  to swim elegantly in his new ocean. Ben's ignorance of technology is more than compensated for by his work and life experiences. We see a group of millenials being mentored as well as the baby-boomer happily embracing lifelong learning.

My husband noted how much we need wise older men/women and , regrettably, how often age does not equal wisdom. As I'm in my 50s, the comment prompted me to pause and assess what wisdom I could bring to my younger friends and what foolish tendencies I need to purge. I was reminded of Paul's exhortation to young pastor Titus:

     But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things - that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.
     Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you. [Titus 2:2-8 NKJV]

The movie has a definite feminist sensibility (which made the resolution rather puzzling to me). DeNiro plays an old-school gentleman that current generations of emales would love to see reemerge. What's particularly interesting is Jules scornful evaluation of the men of her generation:

Nobody calls men "men" anymore. Have you noticed? Women went from "girls" to "women." Men went from "Men" to "boys"? This is a problem in the big picture. Do you know what I mean?...How, in one generation, have men gone from guys like Jack Nicholson and Harrison Ford to...[looks at her male friends]...take Ben here. A dying breed. You know? Look and learn, boys. Because if you ask me, this is what cool is.

Our protagonist finds herself longing for the very old-school masculinity her feminism has helped to erode.  The Law of Unintended Consequences. The character of Ben really is charming; he is a true gentleman. [Note: Masculinity should never be confused with its cheap imitator machismo.]

Robert DeNiro and Anne Hathaway have wonderful chemistry. The secondary characters are believable and actually somewhat developed considering their limited screen tie.

Writer/director Nancy Meyer's The Holiday is watched every December in our house.  With The Intern, Meyers has added another movie to my favorites list.

Crazy for Cozy Mysteries

When it comes to fiction, my hubby says I don't read books as much as I devour them! With my current job, I often have an hour or two to read, albeit with lots of background noise. Thankfully, I  discovered the Cozy Mystery genre.

Usually written as a series, in a cozy mystery the sleuth is typically an intelligent, observant woman whose business finds her in various locations where a mysterious death occurs. The cast of characters are family, neighbors, friends, and other business owners in a small town and recur in each of the books. [Think: Murder, She Wrote or Nancy Drew] These are fun books I can usually finish off in two to three hours. Cozy mysteries typically also feature a romance and very little, if any, objectionable material. When purchased as an eBook, they are also very affordable. I have gotten books on eBook promotional sites for free or under $1, but usually they are under $10 and often under $5.

Nancy Drew's The Mysterious Mansion taught me about Persian rugs. I was introduced to falconry in the Hardy Boys' The Hooded Hawk Mystery. Cozy mysteries continue this education by offering up tidbits pertaining to the heroine's line or work or interest and sometimes offer recipes as well.  Here are some of my favorite series:

Raine Stockton Dog Mysteries by Donna Ball
     The first cozy series I read and probably still my favorite. Raine Stockton, formerly with Search and Rescue, finds herself investigating mysteries in her small North Carolina community located in the heart of the Smoky Mountains while navigating a complicated love life.
     I'm a dog lover and what I appreciate the most about Ball's writing is the way she captures the personality of animals. Cisco and the other canines are characters, while never being more than dogs.  Another plus: Balls writes like she has actually been to North Carolina and knows Southerners! Her books don't pile on southern stereotype. As a southerner myself, I recognize the traits and tendencies of her characters. As a side benefit, each book contains within the story helpful dog training tips.
     [While not mysteries, another charming series by Ms. Ball is the Lady Bug Farm books and the accompanying Hummingbird House books. These books feature well-developed characters and uplifting stories.]

Tourist Trap Mysteries by Lynn Cahoon
     Jill Gardner relocates to South Cove, California and opens Coffee, Books, and More. She is the business community liaison to the city council, which often puts her at odds with her nemesis, the major. Along with this and selling books, Jill gets involved in solving murders much to the dismay of her police officer boyfriend.
     This is a very close second to the Raine Stockton series. I read these books as much to catch up on the goings on in South Cove as for the mysteries.

Caprice De Luca Home Staging Mysteries by Karen Rose Smith
     Caprice De Luca is an aficionada of all things vintage and the owner of a home-staging business. The De Lucas are a tight-knit family and Caprice's siblings and other family members always play a role in the stories. This series is set in Pennsylvania.
     I'm not as big a fan of  the author's writing style as I am of the above authors, but Smith's stories have a wonderful sweetness to them. I have come to care about the De Lucas and look forward to a return visit with them in each book. As an added bonus, each book features recipes.

Caught Dead in Wyoming by Patricia McLinn
     Former big-time TV journalist Elizabeth "E.M." Danniher finds herself doing consumer protection stories for podunk KWMT-TV in Sherman, Wyoming after a messy breakup with her vindictive ex-husband, a powerful news executive. In between her "Helping Out!" segments, she finds herself investigating murders and juggling love interests while learning the ways of the West.
     After I finished the first book of the series, I quickly downloaded the other three and had read all four books within a week. This series caught my imagination and the characters won me over quickly. I am rooting for E. M. Danniher to get the best of her station's pompous anchor (a written version of Ted Baxter from the old Mary Tyler Moore series).

Mainely Needlepoint Mysteries by Lea Wait
     Angie Curtis returns to her hometown after her long-vanished mother's body is found.Another murder is tied to her mother's case and soon Angie is stitching together clues while working with the Mainely Needlepointers in her needlework business.  Set in the fictional mid-coastal town of Haven Harbor, Maine, the books' location is very picturesque. Plenty of needlework history and tidbits are woven into each story.

Hampton Home & Gardens Mysteries by Kathleen Bridge
     After a rough breakup with her fiance, Meg Barrett flees glamorous Manhattan and her job at a top home and garden magazine to the small to the small town of Montauk on the outskirts of the tony communities of the Hamptons where she begins Cottages by the Sea, an interior design business.  She soon finds herself in the middle of murder mysteries among the rich and famous.
     This new series (two books as of this writing) captured my attention quickly and I finished both books in short order, which means I now must twiddle my thumbs impatiently while waiting for the next entry.  Meg Barrett and her cohorts are fun characters and the location is intriguing. The books include interior design tips and recipes.

These are my favorite cozy series, but I'm always open to suggestions for new ones!

The Subtle Danger of Me Before You

Her text read something like this: "Please read this book! I'm dying for someone to discuss it with." So at my friend Rose's urging, I was off to obtain a copy of the wildly popular Me Before You by Jojo Moyes. Because the film version is opening this summer, I moved it to the top of my long, long, long to-read stack of books.

If you haven't read the book: READ NO FURTHER. SPOILERS AHEAD.

The book opens like a typical romance novel. We are introduced to Will Trayner, a strong virile man with implied serious wealth, enjoying the morning after with his equal female specimen of perfection. However as the Prologue ends, we know this is no typical romance novel.

We next make the acquaintance of Louisa "Lou" Clark, she of eccentric fashion sense and newly joined to the ranks of the unemployed. Lou's family is somewhat dependent upon her wages, although curiously not all that supportive or edifying of her. It is this need for money and her limited job prospects that sends Lou to Granta House, the stately home of Will, who is now a quadriplegic requiring constant care following an accident. We discover Will lives in the home's annex, a visual picture of his diminished life. With no discernible skills pertinent to the job (or so the reader thinks), Lou is hired.

An unlikely friendship develops between these two disparate characters and one might assume a new spin on the Romeo and Juliet story is about to unfold until the plot twist is revealed. Will has attempted suicide in the past and still has this intention. Lou's contract is for six months, not as a trial basis, but because that's the delay Will promised his parents before carrying out his plans. Upon learning of this, Lou first resigns before being begged to stay by Will's mom.  Mrs. Trayner has seen the difference Lou is making in Will and pleads with her to find a way to change his mind. Thus begins Louisa Clark's mission to give Will a reason to live. Along the way, as we already suspected, the friendship deepens and Lou falls in love.

There will be no happily ever after ending. Will Trayner flies to Switzerland to a hospital that provides assisted suicide services. After initially walking away from Will devastated, Lou comes to terms with his decision and at the last minute joins him there to say goodbye. When Lou's mother learns of this, she is appalled by her daughter's decision:

It is not my decision, Mum. It's Will's. The whole point is to support Will.

Support Will? I've never heard such rubbish. You're a child, Louisa. You've seen nothing, done nothing. And you have no idea what this is going to do to you. How in God's name will you ever be able to sleep at night? You'd be helping a man to die. Do you really understand that? You'd be helping Will, that lovely, clever young man, to die.

When Louisa doesn't change her mind, the scene continues with:

If you go, Louisa, you needn't come back.

The words fell out of her mouth like pebbles. I looked at my mother in shock. Her gaze was unyielding. It tensed as she watched for my reaction. It was as if a wall I had never known was there had sprung up between us.

I mean it. This is no better than murder.

Louisa's father and sister try to intervene and plead Lou's case, but her mother is unmoved. This is the exact moment Moyes lost me.

Don't misunderstand - I finished the book, going through a box of tissues in the process. This is a well-written, page turner with characters you grow to care about. And there's the problem.

Assisted suicide sounds so noble. Choosing how to end one's life in light of suffering or, in the case of this fictional character, life-altering injuries. We are heartless if we stand opposed to this choice. Or are we?

Will Trayner, a man with seemingly unlimited means and a high degree of intelligence, chooses to die rather than live a life disabled. His disability has rendered his life meaningless. He can't handle being dependent on others, not scaling mountaintops, or the inability to do all the other things in his previous active life. Louisa's mother opposes Will's choice, so of course, she's wrong. The whole second half of the book builds to the reader's coming to acceptance (and endorsement?) of his suicide. Why can't Louisa's mother see this?  Heck, Louisa is going to travel and be wealthy as a result of his death! Even Will's mother comes to terms with it. By opposing the book's hero and heroine, it is implicit we are to see Louisa's mother as wrong. But she's not wrong; she's principled. And she sees Will as he is - a selfish coward.

Murder is wrong, including self murder. One reviewer called this "tragedy porn," which I found to be very insightful. The book subtly tries to persuade you Will's disabled life is not worth living. His life had setbacks, serious setbacks, and so now he doesn't want it. He has an attractive woman in love with him, a supportive family, means to accommodate his limitations so he can still be active in different ways, but that's not enough. He can't have the life he had, the life he wants, so he's going to end the life he does have.

As a Christian, I believe when the Lord's providence for our life is hard and painful, we still must cling to the promise it is for our good and His glory. We must insist the disabled person has worth. We must insist suffering has worth. Caregivers bless and are blessed. If we still draw breath, we still have purpose. My husband and I  have each cared for a dying parent. It is painful, frustrating, exhausting, and emotionally wrenching, but after their deaths we each were richer. The experience taught us things we wouldn't, or perhaps couldn't, have learned otherwise. Our parents' suffering had purpose.

The book's ending sends the wrong message about how to measure a person's quality of life, a life's worth, what love is, and the possibility of overcoming obstacles and challenges to live a fulfilled, if altered, life. The ending didn't just make me sad; it made me angry. 

Honest Confessions

I've written before about how every church has a liturgy, a pattern, for worship. In my church, part of this liturgy is a corporate confession of sin. It is a responsive, that is participatory, part of worship. It looks something like this:

Leader:     If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Silence for reflection and self-examination.

Leader:     Let us pray.

All:     Almighty God, our heavenly Father, we have sinned against You and against our fellow men, in thought and word and deed, in the evil we have done and in the good we have not done, through ignorance, through weakness, through our own deliberate fault. We are truly sorry and repent of all our sins. For the sake of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who died for us, forgive us all that is past; and grant that we may serve You in newness of life in the glory of Your Name. Amen.

I did not grow up reciting written prayers and when I first encountered them in a worship service, I was somewhat taken aback. It was pointed out to me that were I to speak with the President, visiting royalty, or some other notable figure of great importance, I would probably have a speech prepared or at least a series of talking points to ensure my part of the encounter was coherent. Why then shouldn't we prepare our words for the Almighty God in the same manner? That explanation resonated with me to the point that I now often write out prayers in a journal as a means of truly shaping my words so they express properly my praise, thanksgiving, and requests.

Another benefit of having a prepared corporate prayer of confession is I am confronted about sinful habits or tendencies I might, if left on my own, gloss over or even ignore. Such is the case with the above confession: ". . . through our own deliberate fault." Ouch. If we're honest, don't we all like to excuse away our sin? It was a mistake, a misunderstanding, the result of incorrect information or some other reason that gives us an out from some or all the responsibility for our failings. A written confession makes us admit there were times when we sinned deliberately. It is very reminiscent of David's confession written in the psalms. The gut-level honest confession and the familial tone of a son to his Father of this psalm makes it precious to Christians:

Have mercy upon me, O God,According to Your lovingkindess;According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,Blot out my transgressions.Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,And cleanse me from my sin.For I acknowledge my transgressions,And my sin is always before me.Against You, You only, have I sinned,And done this evil in Your sight - That You may be found just when You speak,And blameless when You judge.~ Psalm 51:1-4

David was far from perfect, but he didn't let sin remain between him and God. We know from Scripture God affirms David as a man after His own heart. Our corporate confession also ends with an affirmation:

Leader:     Lift up your hearts and receive the sure promise of the gospel.  The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and great in mercy. "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." To all who believe and repent, this promise is most surely given. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

That's the beauty of confession; through Jesus we have been made clean and affirmed as loved by our Heavenly Father.

Crafting Sunday School (or God Bless Pinterest!)

My church is small and as such we have only one children's Sunday School class with ages ranging from Preschool to I'm-old-enough-for-the-grownup-class. It's a challenge to develop a lesson appropriate for such a wide age range, but it is one homeschool moms are very familiar with.  Not having kids of my own, I enjoy this weekly interaction and watching the one-room schoolhouse experience come to life before my eyes.  The older kids are wonderful in helping out the younger ones.

Currently, the class has a majority of females; in the past, we've had mostly boys.  The gender difference has had a big influence on occasion in determining crafts and activities.  One activity for which I'm rather infamous happened in October.  We were studying through the Book of Judges and the next lesson would be in Judges 4 where we find the story of Jael and Sisera.

Inspiration struck in the produce section of Walmart!  There was a sale on pie pumpkins and I loaded up my cart with these pumpkins and a package of plastic tent pegs.  The following Sunday, I hauled the pumpkins, tent pegs, a couple of rubber mallets, and box of markers down to our classroom.  We read our story about our heroine Jael's ending of Israel's enemy Sisera.  Then we drew a face on our pumpkins and the kiddos pounded tent pegs into the them!  That year several families had "Sisera" jack-o-lanterns!  One dad remarked, "Only at our church."  I'm not sure it was a compliment.

Sampling fruit

We recently finished a series of lessons on The Fruits of the Spirit. I tried to bring in unusual fruit for the kids to sample from time to time. I am so grateful to various Pinterest users for the great ideas I used in this series. The biggest hit was this song which helped the kids learn all the Fruits of the Spirit.  My boys and girls both love it!.

We just started a new series on The Armor of God.  I found this great poster at Lifeway.  This great web site has some wonderful lesson ideas and this site had templates for wearable armor that I modified slightly. The generosity of these ladies in sharing for free their hard work and creativity is just incredible!  Here's a picture of some of the kids wearing their Belt of Truth.

I'm hoping the kiddos will have the complete armor completed by the time Harvest Parties or Trick-or-Treating comes around.  There is a great song I downloaded for these lessons.  It has a good "hook" which should help the kids memorize the armor pieces.  

I have a board on Pinterest for Sunday School crafts, so if you're a teacher who has drawn a blank please check it out.  

Christmas Trees and Memories

Our Christmas tree tells our story.  The ornaments are an eclectic collection gathered over 23 years of marriage.  For the last few years, we have been blessed to have Mom with us and her story ornaments are also placed on the tree.

When we first married, we were unsure what directions our tree should take, so we opted to play it safe and stick to ornaments which had a decidedly biblical theme (music, angels, nativity, etc).  When I stretched plausibility with a cuckoo clock to commemorate our honeymoon in Germany ("to everything there is a time and a purpose under heaven..."), we had to acknowledge our tree theme had significantly broadened.

Each year, as we take out our carefully wrapped ornaments, we are reminded of moments in time,special trips,pets, friends, and loved ones long passed.  I smile through tears as I hang the ornaments Dad patiently helped his "three girls" (Mom, my sister and me) make.  These simple pine cones mean so very much to me.

There is an ornament on the tree from my childhood and a green bell from Mom's.  Many ornaments were given as gifts by students, friends, and loved ones and they always bring warmth to us when we placed them on the evergreen.  I have a few that remind me of the precious children I teach in Sunday School.

Our Christmas tree helps me remember.  I think I understand a Christmas standard better now than I did in my younger days.  At Christmas, I find myself going home, but it is to the home of yesteryear.  I relieve treasured memories and revisit scenes from a time long ago:

I'm dreaming tonight of a place I love

Even more than I usually do.

And although I know it's a long road back,

I promise you

I'll be home for Christmas.

You can count on me.

Please have snow and mistletoe

And presents by the tree.

Christmas Eve will find me

Where the love light gleams.

I'll be home for Christmas,

If only in my dreams.

What's Doctrine Got To Do With Me? Some Thoughts for Women Married to Christian Leaders, Teachers or Pastors

Till I come, give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine . . .Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all.  Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine.  Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.

For any endeavor undertaken by two or more people to be successful, there will need to be a division of labor.  Each person works within their strengths - the salesman sells, the accountant manages the books, and the organizer structures.  However, while your husband may be the theologian of the family, this does not mean theology  is something at which only he needs to work.

In his second book to Pastor Timothy, the Apostle Paul writes, "Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."  I am fairly certain we have all heard many Sunday School lessons or sermons where that verse was used to motivate all Christians to be diligent in Bible Study - and rightly so.  While the epistle was originally written to Timothy, its message is applicable to us all, in a secondary way, even if we are not pastors.

Tom Wright has some interesting comments on this verse as it relates to pastors and teachers:

In particular, [Paul] wants preachers and teachers to 'carve out a straight path for the word of truth.' Some translations say things like 'rightly dividing the word,' and it's possible Paul means something like that (in other words, 'being able to show how the sentences work, what each part means, and how they all relate to each other').  But it's more likely that the picture he has in mind is of a pioneer hacking out a path through the jungle so that people can walk safely through it.  Part of the job of the teacher is to do what Paul himself is doing in this passage: to see where there are brambles, creepers, and dead trees blocking the path which the word should be following to people's hearts and minds, and to shift them out of the way."  ~ Paul for Everyone: Pastoral Epistles

If we take a quick walk through the Psalms and Proverbs, we will see the theme of a straight path comes up over and over again and the admonition to keep to it is not directed at pastors and teachers alone:

The righteousness of the blameless makes their paths straight, but the wicked are brought down by their own wickedness.  Proverbs 11:5

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.  Psalm 119:105

In the way of righteousness is life, and in its pathway there is no death.  Proverbs 12:28

So you may walk in the way of goodness, and keep to the paths of righteousness.  Proverbs 2:20

Make me walk in the path of Your commandments, for I delight in it.  Incline my heart to Your testimonies, and not to covetousness.  Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in Your way.  Psalm 119:35-37

Concerning the works of men, by the word of Your lips, I have kept away from the paths of the destroyer.  Uphold my steps in Your paths, that my footsteps may not slip.  Proverbs 17:4,5

So we have established as a Christian, we are responsible for being diligent in the Word and thereby staying on the straight or righteous path.  This path theme is of particular importance to you as the wife of a Christian leader.  If you are not traveling along the same path as your husband, your path could become rocky.

Notice in several of the verses above, the word "path" is in the plural, "paths."  On a personal level, we are all on our own Pilgrim's Progress journey, going down our individual Christian paths.  While people from different denominations are able to stand together and in agreement recite The Apostles' Creed, they do so while traveling different theological paths.  This became of particular importance to me when my future husband switched paths after we became engaged.

Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all.  Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine.  Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself  and those who hear you.

My husband and I met in my childhood Southern Baptist church. He also attended a Baptist church, but not of the Southern Baptist tradition with which I was familiar at the time.  He used words like "Reformed" and "Calvinism."  Back then, I had no idea what a difference these new words would make in my life!  During our engagement, my fiance presented me with a required reading list.  (Whenever I tell people this, he indignantly says, "Oh, I did not!" but the list was real.)  Here I am planning a wedding, my mind consumed with hearts and flowers, and my sweetheart is giving me Calvin's Institutes, Lorraine Boettner's Reformed Doctrine of Predestination, and other tomes.  Our engagement was full of theological discussions and debates.  I read the books and found myself drifting more and more over to his path.  This would happen again after we married when he found himself in closer alignment with the Presbyterian church.  In short order, this born, bred, and burped Baptist found herself leaving that denomination and becoming a congregant in the Presbyterian Church in America.  It is a good thing my hubby had taken heed to himself and to doctrine, because I confess when first presented with these changes, he did not encounter a quiet and gentle spirit.  I rebelled!  Fortunately, the more I read and the more we discussed doctrines, the more I found myself agreeing with his new direction.  Now I remind him if he can persuade me, he can persuade anyone.

Lest there be any confusion about it, let me state clearly my purpose in sharing this is not to convince you to explore Presbyterianism.  Pastors are to be students. It was because of his studies that my husband changed denominations.  Over the course of our marriage, I have seen him not necessarily change, but refine his theological views from time to time.  These matters are the topics of our conversations and as he shares what he is learning, I can see the way his mind is working and get a good feeling for where he is going.  I have learned it is important that I take heed to myself and to doctrine to be able to be the helper my husband needs and walk in unison down the same theological path.  The book of Amos sums it up nicely, "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?"  Billy Graham and his wife Ruth, who was a lifelong Presbyterian, may just be the exception that proves the rule.

Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.

There are other reasons for staying sharp theologically. Church members and others will pose theological questions to you.  Again, church members and others will pose theological questions to you.  The biggies you can easily defer with a sweet smile and, "You'll have to talk to my hubby about that."  However, there will be situations, conversations at church get-togethers or casual parties, where in the midst of a general discussion a theological issue will be raised. This is true for all Christians, but remember your opinion will reflect upon your husband.  You represent him...always.  An off-the-cuff remark can cause him headaches. [Trust me - I have personal experience here.]  That is why it is so important that we are that workman who needs not be ashamed, the woman who is striving to bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.

Another reason to stay theologically sharp is the opportunities your spouse's vocation will present to you.  Whether it is standing in line at Wal-Mart or making chit-chat in a waiting room, when people find out I am married to a pastor, I am continually surprised by how often the conversation will take a decidedly personal turn.  A complete stranger will share an intimate situation with me and seek counsel as if I were the one wearing the clerical collar!  When faced with a hurting person, I silently pray that I will not be an ashamed workman and ask the Lord to bring to my remembrance His Word.

As husband and wife, we are to be one flesh and I think within that is an exhortation for a theological oneness.  We have a biblical example of this in the pages of Acts:

Now a certain Jew named Apollos, born at Alexandria, an eloquent man and mighty in the Scriptures, came to Ephesus.  This man had been instructed in the way of the Lord; and being fervent in spirit, he spoke and taught accurately the things of the Lord, though he knew only the baptism of John.  So he began to speak boldly in the synagogue.  When Aquila and Priscilla heard him, they took him aside and explained to him the way of God more accurately.

Notice:  Scripture says, ". . .When Aquilla and Priscilla heard him, they took him aside and explained to him the way of God more accurately."  Priscilla was being a helper to her husband in this circumstance as well.

You are not just married to a theologian, ladies; you are expected to be one.

[Ladies, if counseling opportunities keep finding you, here is a very good resource: Women Helping Women: A Biblical Guide to the Major Issues Women Face by Elyse Fitzpatrick & Carol Cornish, published by Christian Counseling & Education Foundation.  Kindle edition here.]